Dear friend

On March 7th, a friend of mine from the US will be landing in the UK for the first time. I will - from this point onward - refer to him as “The American”.

Me and The American have known each other some 20+ years, and despite the countless hours of driving each other absolutely insane, I still await his arrival so that I can witness the pure and raw culture shock in store for him.

I wish to document his experience as far as he's willing. He thinks he's prepared for what our quaint British life is like. He is wrong.

Just how wrong? Well, I'll soon find out.

God help me.