Dear friend

I made a promise to myself that this year was the year I would get my shit together in all areas of my life. I don't make new years resolutions, but this one was important for me to do. I'd like to share something that I've been in the process of accomplishing which aligns with that goal. It's something that, at first glance, seems comparatively small. But it's something that is meaningful to me and has actually helped to serve as an effective self-soothing technique.

It's the guitar.

Since the start of January, I've been practicing guitar every day without fail. I've built it into my routine and ensure that I dedicate at least an hour per day to playing (though I often spend much more than an hour doing so, simply because it's that much fun).

Even my birthday present this year was a brand new guitar to call my very own so I no longer have to use my mother's. She's a beauty. She's acoustic, has a black finish, and even a built-in tuner and Aux-out to connect to an amplifier. More of an electric-acoustic, really. I sampled a few at the guitar store, but fell in love with how this one sounds.

Not only do I practice with my own guitar daily, I also record myself daily. It's quite astounding to listen to, to be honest. The difference in my playing is not noticeable on a day-by-day basis, but when I listen back to how I sounded back in January, hot fucking damn it's evident how far I've come. I'd like to share a couple of these recordings here.

This is a clip of my playing on January 9th, not long after I picked up the guitar. I was trying to play this:

Go ahead, call it trash. I agree. I was rough, I was slow, I was stumbling, I was struggling to hit the right strings. But that is to be expected, this was near enough day-0 (probably more like day 3 or 4.)

Now compare that to how I sounded only 3 days ago (March 3rd). It's not the same song - this time it's the intro to Broken by Seether - but I can notice a drastic difference in my playing. I'm faster, I know what I'm doing, I can play a lot more confidently and fluidly.

I don't mean to sound boastful, I know I'm not perfect. But listening back, I'm genuinely proud of myself of the difference 2 months has made.

It's funny. I always wanted to learn guitar for years. I just… never did it. I never put my mind to it, I never took the first step and accepted that - at the start - I'd be shit. Of course I'd be shit, I'm new, that's the point. But I'm so pleased with the progress I've made simply because I stuck to it and wanted to see myself improve.

I now find myself playing even when it's not scheduled into my routine by Google. I pick up the guitar almost any opportunity where I have some spare time. No matter what my mood is, I can always find myself calming down by playing along to a song I like. It's become what I can arguably call the first-ever genuinely effective self-soothing technique. I've even mastered how to play an F major chord now, which was notoriously difficult to get down, so fuck you guitar! I am the F major king.

That's all I have to say really. The reason I wanted to share this is to prove to you that if you're reluctant to pick up a new skill because you're afraid you'll be bad at it, you should do it anyway. Because you know what? You will be bad at it to start off with - I was too - and that's okay.

But dedicate enough time and effort to it, you will see yourself improving and you will have something to be proud of.

It just takes practice.